Thursday, 29 April 2010

Live Every Week Like it's Shark Week - The Wit & Wisdom of Tracy Jordan

To celebrate the glorious return of 30 Rock to UK TV screens for a 4th season I decided it was time for TV or not TV to honour the genius of possibly the greatest comic character on TV right now.

Tracy Morgan is nothing short of brilliant just being himself, but as 30 Rock’s delusional, unhinged Tracy Jordan (essentially a caricature of himself) he takes bizarre, non-sequitars to a whole new plain.

Rightly, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin receive massive plaudits for 30 Rock, but somewhat surprisingly, Morgan and the character of Jordan are often overlooked when the praise is doled out. I can’t begin to stress how wrong that is because every time Tracy is on screen you know that the laughs are going to come quicker than Michael Jackson at the Home Alone premiere.

Tracy Jordan is renowned for his brilliant and always insane one liners on the show, but just which of this manic genius’ zingers are his best? Below are ten of my favourite from the show’s first three seasons.

I’ve seen some similar online entries that try and explain/justify why these lines are so awesome, but I’m not going to do that, because quite frankly if you need why these are funny explaining, you really shouldn’t be reading this blog.

Enjoy:

10. “Black people, don't vote! Just don't do it! In the time that it takes you to vote, you could play three games of pool. Three! Now that's fresh!”

9. “I wished for you to get better. I was gonna wish for breakfast in bed with Robocop while an elephant paints us.”

8. “…Have you ever been to Knuckle Beach? It’s a different world! A world where Orange Soda is an acceptable substitute for breast milk.”

7. “Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.”

6. (To Jerry Seinfeld) “…Me and this dude used to do stand up together. Remember that night we had the three-way with Elayne Boosler?”

Seinfeld: (deadpans) “I don’t think that was me.”

5. “…I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it…”

4. "Friendship and trust in the entourage is the most important thing. Like that HBO show… John Adams."

3. “I need a loan to finance my Thomas Jefferson movie. It’s gonna be at least $30 million with all the Claymation sex scenes in it.”

2. "I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn't a new Star Trek."

1. “I was supposed to be in that movie Rush Hour, but 2 weeks into shooting, I was replaced… by Jackie Chan”

30 Rock Season 4 is airing Mondays @ 10pm and 10.30pm on Comedy Central.

Other Musings:

- I was pleasantly surprised to stumble upon the fact that Bravo are airing White Collar on these shores last week.

As I hunted for Sons of Anarchy’s air date (Wednesdays @ 10pm) I saw that Bravo had picked up White Collar, a show that I very much liked the look of when I was Stateside last year. It says a lot for how TV channels in the UK promote their shows that had I not been searching for something else I would have been oblivious to the fact that a show that I very much wanted to see had been nabbed by one of our channels.

I won’t get into the sorry state of British TV again though, but what I will say is that White Collar proved my instincts were right – this should be a fine addition to the weekly TV schedules – kind of Number5 meets Catch Me if You Can with wit and charm in abundance.

Coupled with Sons (White Collar goes out Wednesdays @ 9pm) Bravo has possibly the greatest two hours of TV of the week on its hands.

- Speaking of Sons of Anarchy, Wednesday's season opener had the potential to be an anti-climax after nearly a year's wait for the show to return, but it didn't let me down one little bit.

I'd read about the rape scene at the end of the episode, and whilst prepared for it although it wasn't as graphic as I expected it still seriously disturbed me and stuck with me for a while after the show finished.

- It was nice to see Five scaremongering for all it was worth on Wednesday night. No sooner had the flight ban because of that pesky volcanic ash been lifted and Five were there with a scare tactics documentary about a previous bout of volcanic ash that had caused planes problems mid-air.

Good to see this shameless network attempting to cash in on the misery of thousands of Brits. And let’s not forget all their friends and family sat at home worrying about how, and even if, their loved ones would get home, it was so nice of Five to put something on that night that could take their minds off the chaos going on around the world… Oh wait…

- Thursday evening saw the second live Election Debate go out, this time on Sky News, who didn’t see fit to turn off their impossibly annoying news ticker at any point during the debate.

I think I covered the debate to death last week so I won’t dwell on this week’s effort too much, but it was definitely a lot feistier this time around and Brown & Cameron now obvioulsy sense Clegg as a real threat following the reaction he got after the previous debate.

Whatever you think about politics, and a lot of people obviously find it boring as shit - given that half the viewers from the previous week deserted the broadcast this week (to be fair that could have more to do with the channel it aired on) you can’t deny that these debates have definitely spiced things up a bit and I for one can’t wait for Thursday’s final debate, if for no other reason than to laugh at some of the great Twitter updates from the likes of Armando Iannucci, Charlie Brooker and Will Smith (no, not that one.)

- Recently I’ve been somewhat critical of Channel 4’s Horse Racing coverage, but after spending five days watching At the Races’ coverage of the Punchestown Festival I’ll never complain about C4 ever again.

The digital channel’s coverage from Ireland was nothing short of dreadful – missing key incidents, God awful camera angles, splitting the screen on big races with inconsequential races from other tracks and not paying attention to the pagentary at the start of races are just a few of my gripes from last week.

I get the fact that ATR are trying to effectively bring a bookies shop into your home for the laptop generation of gamblers, but when they have the rights to a big Festival such as Punchestown you’d think they’d treat it with slightly more respect than they do the average week day meeting from any number of courses in the UK, especially given the advances in red button technology and online broadcasting.

Their broadcasting decisions really were baffling and made them look even more small time than their lack of big track coverage already does. Punshestown is one of the channel’s big selling points and they treated it like an afterthought.

- On a happier Horse Racing note, this Saturday the 2010 Flat Season gets under way in earnest with the first Classic: The 2000 Guineas.

At the end of last year’s Flat Season I watched a Horse called St. Nicholas Abbey give a performance that still gives me a boner when I watch it in the Racing Post Trophy and like many people I immediatley declared we’d seen the winner of the 2010 Derby.

Fast forward 6 months and St. Nic is heading the market for Saturday’s Guineas at ridiculously short odds and I’m on board. I honestly can’t see anything even getting close to him.

The only concern would be if a more unexposed Horse has developed into a World beater over the Winter but from what I’ve seen thus far this season from his rivals on Saturday, if St. Nic has developed even a little bit more since we last saw him, then Newmarket could see a cake walk come 3.05 on Saturday afternoon.

24 Day 8 Death Counter:

Hour 17

NB. Samir Mehran technically died during this hour at the hands of Novakovich’s assassin. His death however was included last week and wrongly attributed to Jack Bauer, which will be reflected in this week’s update.

Old Man in office – stabbed by Novakovich’s assassin.

Renee Walker – shot and killed by Novakovich’s assassin.

Episode Death Total = 2 (Samir’s death was included last week)

Cumulative Season Death Total = 81

(Ongoing) Jack Bauer Kills (JBK) Total = 21


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